Ymani Was Here: Let's talk about periods, pregnancy, and parenting.
For church girls who had sex before marriage.
Let’s talk about periods, pregnancy, and parenting.
This is not the recipe for chemical X (If you know you know!), but it is the trifecta of things we didn’t talk about and I damn sure didn’t question adults about until I crossed the threshold of adulthood. In my Black households the conversation about blood flow was saved for communion and the sanctity of the cross. It was only talked about when we said our prayers or when we needed it to banish sickness and diseases in the name of Jesus. Sex was reserved for marriage, and unless you wanted to get knocked out you better not question anybody’s parenting style as it pertains to how they handle you or your cousins. Respect your elders, don’t run behind that boy, and keep your body covered… until said boy asks your daddy to marry you.
Hi, my name is Ymani, a certified full spectrum doula and future sex/childbirth educator. In a beautiful turn of events, I grew up to be the cousin that you can to talk to about sex (I love that for me!). I was sitting with myself as one does when they are an over thinker, and realized this practice has long been within my range of thought as I’ve navigated adulthood. I have been a hair braider since I was 16 years old, taking my first paid client right after the loss of my first pregnancy. I began to hold space for my friends at an early age who couldn’t talk to their parents about sex, sexuality, or their fears about potentially becoming pregnant. I can’t count how many times I’ve had a classmate in my house in the name of micro braids but truly disclosing the ways in which they had been trying to figure out what in the hell was going on in their relationships and their bodies.
What did I know at 18 when my frontal lobe wasn’t closed either?
I laugh at the audacity I had to become a makeshift therapist at such a young age, but I know that it was a calling that I truly couldn’t understand at the time. My path has been less than traditional, but I know now that becoming a trauma-informed doula has healed me in ways that I never knew I needed. As I establish my practice, my hope is that I can continue hold space as I always have for my families and friends as they ask their own questions on their journey into parenthood or not. Cause in this house? We don’t do secrets or shame.
So if that sounds like your tea, subscribe to the newsletter, and I’ll see on you on our IG lives this month to talk more about sex!
Come join us for a free, fun, and relaxing afternoon at Brewpoint Craft Oak Park! This in-person event is the perfect opportunity for new parents to connect and unwind. Located on South Oak Park Avenue in Oak Park, IL, USA, this cozy venue offers a welcoming atmosphere for parents to socialize and share their experiences.
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I wanted to shoutout Nia in my first newsletter because truly, she gave me so much wisdom and encouragement as a new doula on the scene. I got to attend one of her classes and I was blown away by her kindness/grace for new parents. Starting this November, Nia’s Nest is providing a space for new moms with babies 6 weeks-4 months old to move and connect with each other. You don’t want to miss this opportunity to create community!
Love you, friend, and all that you're doing!