Goodbye to what has been...

A requiem.

Jun 04, 2025

As a Taurus sun, I have to admit that I am a creature of comfort. As a Capricorn rising, I have to admit that I need structure and stability to be comfortable. 34 absolutely earth quaked my life and even though I hated it, I can’t deny that I’m better because of it. Periods of transition are often sporadic and long, leaving no stone unturned. It’s stressful for me because I can’t schedule it, and I surely can never anticipate the strength of the shifts. My therapist says that God has to rock my world in order to get me to leave my comfort zone, otherwise I wouldn’t move (points were made, but why must she get me together like this???).

Since my last post, I’ve begun navigating single parenthood, queerness, and grief that’s deeper than I’ve ever known. I am grieving over relationships and timelines that encapsulated my identity, keeping me “safe” inside straight lines. I am grieving for the end of the world as we know it to be. I am grieving over what I thought life would and could be. I know that I am not the first or only person who has deconstructed so much that it ended their relationship. I’ve heard folks refer to divorce as a death, and I couldn’t resonate more with that concept. The last year has been the final breaths of everything I once I knew to be true, and I’m finally ready to accept the transition into the “unknown” of being an afro-indigneous, queer, single parent in America.

To be clear : I’m scared, but a new me is emerging.

As a Scorpio moon, rebirth is concept that I’ve come to embrace. As a doula, I’m embracing the gift of being able to discern, ritualize, and support folks with ancestral wisdom as they move through transition. I have been on both sides of the veil, several times before my 35th birthday and it’s cost me everything (wisdom is expensive). What I’ve gained in return has been priceless. I have deepened my commitment to self-liberation, pleasure, and healing. In practice, this has been holding space for curiosity and saying goodbye to binary thinking. What would happen if I was my own savior and the key to my salvation? How could embodying liberation change and heal my community? Most importantly (for me), how can my embodied freedom continue to dismantle the limitations of my child?

We are rarely ever alone in the seasons we endure. Someone is always going through something you have or will have to one day. We are never truly too far apart in the way we experience this life, and I want to say that I’m thankful to be in community with you. If you are growing through deep grief and major life changes, just know that I am too. Allow yourself to no longer exist the way you did before, and please give yourself grace as change creates something new in you.