hey friend, are you okay?

because it's actually okay if you're not, for real for real.

In this edition of YWH :

• Life Lately - May 2024 Intentions (..and celebrating my 34th birthday!)

• Album Review - World Wide Whack X Tierra Whack

• Journal prompt on prioritizing your mental health.

May 2024 : Intentions

TW// self-harm & suicide

If you’re reading this, it’s the day before my 34th birthday. I just found out that a family member lost their battle with depression, and even before that I haven’t been okay on a multitude of levels. As I think about this very young person’s life, I think about all the possible factors that could have been in place as interventions. It is true that suicide happens, and most times there is nothing we could have done differently as much as we would have like to. It is also true that the Black community lacks resources and the emotional capacity to address mental health emergencies. For an example, we are just starting to understand that anxiety and depression presents differently in Black women than in our peers. Not to mention there is still such a large stigma to break down on the micro and macro levels in our families, jobs, and places of worship. This is the second person in my adult life that felt the crushing weight of declining mental health and even with all the “awareness” being brought to the forefront about prioritizing mental health, it still didn’t save them from themselves. So I want to ask a very real question…

Black women, are y’all okay?

Because it’s actually okay if you’re not, for real for real. Most of us aren’t whether we are saying it out loud or we prefer to go talk to the lady about it at our discretion. One of the reasons I’ve been going so hard about community building and chosen family is because isolation is detrimental to our mental health. Even in the birthing space, Black Women are losing their battles with preventable afflictions because of the lack of care and support we receive. We think we can hold the weight of our lives on our shoulders, and we have to put in the effort to learn how to stop. We have to learn how to allow other people to share our load, actually utilizing resources like therapy in addition to our prayer lives. We have to take a good look at our family and learn to identify symptoms of mental and physical illness because most of our families are not going to be forthcoming with the important details that we need in order to achieve a better quality of life. This is the true work of being not just a cycle breaker, but a cycle starter as @jetaimejatee said on TikTok.

My intentions for this month (which just so happens to be Mental Health Awareness Month) are to really focus in on the ways that I can ask for help and to be more helpful to the people in my life. One thing I am learning about the song and dance of community is we will always have something that someone else can benefit from. It feels good to share resources, make space for listening, and sometimes just being in the presence of other people who care about you. If you find yourself more lonely this year, battling with your mental health, or in need of additional support please use the comments to say what you need the most. My hope is that as this blog grows, we can curate a healthy, functional, and mutually beneficial space for folks to heal.

I love you boo, we got you.

Album Review : World Wide Whack X Tierra Whack

While scrolling through the new music section a few weeks ago, I came across Tierra Whack’s new(ish) album, World Wide Whack. I have to be honest Beyonce introduced to me to Tierra Whack, and the more I dive into her catalog the more she makes a deeper impression on me as an artist.

This album is a raw story of navigating the highs and lows of depression/suicidal ideation. In her pinned IG post, Whack says, “ I was in a dark place for a long time and no one knew. I found my way out and made a choice to keep living.” I really loved the visuals of this album because they are bright, colorful, and animated performances underlined with lyrics that tell a sadder, darker story. Unfortunately, this is the reality for most people living with depression. On the outside things appear to be amazing, but on the inside there is a different story and narrative unfolding that no one can see. My favorite song on the album is “Shower Song” which is currently on my morning playlist. Anybody who has been depressed before knows the power of a good hot shower where you get to be on stage singing to the top of your lungs while you wash the negativity away.

My hope is that you’ll give this album a few rotations, and really listen to lyrics. Art should and has consistently reflected the culture. We are experiencing collective burnout and that does not come without it’s intense feelings and moods. I hope that you can draw some inspiration from this album to find a reason, any reason to keep living because you are loved and so important to so many people.

Especially me friend, especially me.

Journal Prompt : Getting the proverbial “weight” off your shoulders.

As a follow-up to our last journal prompt, I want to get curious about what is feeling heavy for you in this season of your life. Is it work? Maybe it’s not having help with your kids or becoming a caretaker for someone you love. There are various stressors in life that can pull and tug at our attention, ultimately causing us to move away from the things that help us stay grounded like community, self-care, or maybe getting a full 8 hours of sleep.

Prompt: Take some time to journal about the heaviness you may feel in this season of your life. What are some things that you can delegate to the people in your community to help you offload some of the tasks that feel exhausting? Consider writing about your boundaries and checking to see if they need some fine tuning right now so that you can put yourself first. Remember that no is full sentence, and you deserve the loving care that you give to everyone else (guilt free!).

I would love to hear your responses in the comments:

If you liked this post you will also enjoy:

Ymani Was Here: Choose You This Time.

building a village in your thirties

Sending a special shoutout to Tierra and Dominque for becoming my first two paid subscribers. Thank you for believing in me as I build this space! Sending everyone so much love for the week ahead. I would love to stay connected with you. Follow me on Instagram @ymaniwashere and let’s keep the healing flowing.

xoxo,

Ymani